It’s not easy finding a romantic partner. In fact, it’s so hard that the dating market is forcing a friend of mine to move to a different city. According to her she has no choice, having already dated all of the men in her current location.
She tried the online dating sites, she said, but it wasn’t her cup of tea.
She’s decided she has to move. To me, this is misguided and extreme. I think she’s overlooking the best way of all to find new people to date : do things you enjoy doing and meet people through your activities.
You may be shocked right now. You mean, have fun? And this can work? Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. You are actually better off just doing things you like to do, and trying to meet people that way, rather than spending time on the not-fun business of trying to do a dedicated partner search. That is what I told my friend: start going out and just having fun.
One of her favorite things to do is to read. It doesn’t sound all that social at first, but then if you think about it, there are reading groups. If she joins a reading group she may meet men, but if not she’ll make some new friends and maybe one of her new friends can introduce her to the perfect guy for her.
I’d give this same advice to anyone. It serves a dual purpose. You don’t want to be so caught up in trying to find someone to date that you become boring and miserable : exactly the opposite of what your perfect potential partner is probably looking for! You may as well have fun doing things you like to do. Plus, if you meet someone doing things you like, you’ll end up dating someone with interests similar to yours.
Another friend of mine has been more successful on the finding a partner front, by following his passions. He’s a gym buff, and met his wife while working out. Now the pair work out together, and go for runs. They share an active lifestyle and have a blast. I’m another example. I love to write (you may have noticed). I met my partner at a writing group. Now in our spare time, we write together.
This is a version of the sage if clichd advice to be yourself. It’s great advice, and you can’t lose. If you find a partner, wonderful, you’ll have lots of fun things in common. And in the mean time, you are enjoying yourself and developing your own interests.
This author also frequently contributes articles on products such as garage roll up door and wood garage doors</
Tags: advice, dating, family, goal setting, happiness, leisure, men's issues, Motivational, recreation, reference, self-help, social issues, teens, Travel & Leisure, women
